When it comes to spiders, my parents are f*cking fearless and go straight for them. I, on the other hand, do not unless they’re the size of a pea or smaller.

The night before last night, I spotted the spider that my sister had found (but lost) the night before that. I thought she might’ve been exaggerating about how big it was but holy sh*t, it was literally about 3/4 of my hand and me being the brave person I am… called for mum to come and kill it (or at least catch it and take it outside). She went straight for it like a f*cking warrior with her shoe BUT LOST IT. SHE LOST IT.

So I spent the rest of that night and all of yesterday trying to avoid that part of the house as much as I could. But then last night, when I was in the bathroom, I turned around to walk out and what do I see? That mother trucking spider again. So being a mature adult such as myself, I ran for my life while calling for mum who went in with bug spray this time and did the deed.


I woke up about two hours ago to go to the toilet and when I came back out, there was ANOTHER MASSIVE F*CKING SPIDER ON THE WALL. I’m talking the first spider’s cousin kind of spider. It’s wasn’t as big as the first one but it was basically the size of my palm.

This time though, I couldn’t call for mum because, come on, it’s 3 in the morning. So I attempt to take matters into my own hands. I sprayed it with the bug sprays (which both happened to be like 98% empty, just my luck) from a you-can’t-jump-at-me kind of a distance BUT THEN IT STARTED DESCENDING THE WALL and I noped the f*ck out of there and jumped onto the kitchen bench. From there, I saw it make it’s way to the floor behind a chair so I ran for the broom and tried to hype myself up to get close enough to it to get it with the broom since I was out of bug spray. After about 15 minutes of staring at it, it started curling up, walking again and is now curled up again.

And that brings us to now. It’s about 5 in the morning and I’ve been here for almost two hours, just keeping an eye on a curled up spider that’s probably dead but I don’t want to take any chances on it. I don’t want to go near it either, not even with the broom, in case it jumps up at me from it’s fake death. I would rather lose sleep than lose a spider that big. This is how scared of them I am of them.


UPDATE: I just hyped myself up to get close enough to put a container over it. Yeah, it’s 100% dead.