Guys, I kissed a boy! 😆 On the cheek. 😐 Lol, it’s not actually that exciting, let me explain (in ramble form apparently):
In my last post, I had like this whole list of new years resolutions that I wanted to do and it included things like getting back my confidence, socialising more, getting a job, exploring new places and all that. So I started thinking about it more and most of the list’s actually just based on me being too scared to leave the house, even though I loved going out. But now that I finally have a car (GUYS I FINALLY HAVE A CAR! #forevergettingmysister’shandmedowns 😜) I’m a bit more confident in going out already since part of the fear was having no transport of my own (I freak out about public transport for a few reasons and I’m not really comfortable with asking for mum and dad’s van… for a few reasons).
I didn’t want to waste this confidence boost while it was/is still fresh so I decided to give myself a thirty day challenge, just to help me improve my confidence since my lack of confidence has to do with me letting myself hide away at home for the past year and letting myself believe all these lies that’d filled my head.
So for thirty days I’ll go out somewhere, anywhere, and kind of start working on my new years resolutions just to slowly get myself used to going out again and to prove to myself that it’s not actually as bad as my mind makes it out to be. And just so I, hopefully, don’t revert back to being a recluse. I know it sounds stupid and it’s pretty much nothing to some people but I just want to build myself back up at my own -turtlely- pace, no rush. Everyday for thirty days; starting with today’s!
So, last night I decided that I’d wake up, brush my teeth and leave the house at around 5-5:30 in the morning since it feels like the calmest part of the day and I’m just getting used to going out again. Originally, I was just going to drive down to the beach behind our house and walk along it with dad since there aren’t many people there but then he convinced me last minute to go to the main beach around here which I was slightly petrified of because of how many people there’d be but it ended up actually being a really good idea! 😃
Dad said he wanted to go swimming but I just wanted to walk so we said we’d meet up with each other in about half an hour and I walked off down the path while he went towards the water. I had my music on and both earphones in to block everyone out in case someone wanted to say something stupid to me (defense mechanism?). But then I realised I actually did want to talk to people and I need to eventually learn to deal with those types better so I took one earphone out and kept the other one in.
About 5 minutes into my walk, there were these two loud and intimidating guys up ahead with beers in their hands and I was like “Ugh, here we go… ” because I thought they were going to cuss at me or something (I don’t really have good experiences with guys like that) since I could see them talking about me. Surprisingly (surprisingly for me), when I got closer, the first guy smiled and said hey, so I smiled and said hey back but kept my pace. Then his friend reached his arm out in front of me to stop me and I thought he said “hold” so I was like, “Huh?” because I was genuinely confused. So he asked for a hug again and I was like “Ooohhh” and said sure and gave him a hug (guy smelt nice, lol 😆) and then he asked if he could have a kiss too but I -panicked on the inside because I’m that awkward and- said, “Sorry but maybe the next girl might.” Then kept walking because I thought it was a dare between them or something.
I went all the way to the rocks, sat on them for a bit to just watch the surfers, paddle-boarders, jet-skiers and swimmers (and I saw a dolphin!!). After that, my half an hour was almost up so I walked back to where I’d meet dad.
While I was looking for him along the beach, I didn’t realise the two guys from before were up ahead because I was so focused on finding dad and I’m honestly just really bad with remembering faces. They said hi again and I said hi back while I was walking to the car (because I’d lost dad and thought he might be there! It was like being 12 in a supermarket all over again!) and the first guy asked for a hug since he didn’t get one the first time so I walked back and gave him one (also smelt nice 😉). Then the second one asked for another and when I went for a hug he picked me up instead and I was like; *awkward laughter*. Then he asked for a kiss again but on the cheek instead since I wouldn’t give a proper one so I let him get a cheek kiss and they turned out to be really nice guys, saying Merry belated-Christmas and all that.
Then I found dad. Turned out he was only about 10m away from me the whole time I was looking… Haha, I don’t know if those two guys were just having a bet between them of who could get the most kisses from girls, if it was just to boost their man egos or whatever (probably was to be honest) but thanks for being so nice to me, even if it was just for a game and even if you were both just slightly drunk. As long as you’re not a dick about it, I won’t mind because it puts me more at ease seeing firsthand how nice people are. 😄 And thanks dad for convincing me to go to the main beach instead. It really helped.
Day one complete. This was an awesome start to the 30 days. 😎 x